<above pic: A newly wed couple from the US shares their experiences after going holidaying in Singapore>
Upon first arriving in Singapore, both of us were immediately impressed and relieved to be in such a grand 21st century city. Coming from Penang, it was if we had stepped into the future. There was a fully air conditioned subway system with NFC swipe cards, a Little India district lit up like daylight in nighttime for Deepavali, and unlimited data only SIM cards available everywhere for dirt cheap. The only part missing, we discovered after a day or two, was a culture that embraced its own identity (or embraced anything much at all). The people are just plagued by hypercriticality, manifesting that little negative voice inside most of us that we eventually learn to cope with and quiet down as we mature. And I truly hope Singaporeans can begin to do the same and allow their city to live up to its potential.
By all means, Singapore is at the cutting edge of modernity. The government has taken vast efforts since the 1950s to rebuild every part of the city with the latest technology, a smart layout, and an environmental conscience. Progressive laws such as a hefty $50,000 car tax put most people on the public transportation system, and a network of subways and buses spans pretty much every inch of the island. There is even a public wifi network.
In terms of tourism and cultural attractions, Singapore again surprised us. There was a free botanical garden that rivals Central Park in size but features wonderful exhibits like the Evolution Path, which tracks the growth of plant life since its beginnings on Earth. It has some of the best restaurants in the world, including Iggy's, which made me fall in love with bite sized shrimp I'd never before tasted called Sakura Ebi. Chinatown and Little India are both like little miniature cities and clearly designed with the tourist in mind, with clear maps and landmarks, food and dining everywhere, and none of the muck or third world conditions you still suffer in New York.
The wonderful fire dancers at the massive Singaporean Night Safari
Little India at night dressed up for Deepavali
We were excited and instant fans of the city. That is, until we started talking to the locals and reading Singaporean blogs. In a word, Singaporeans seem…spoiled. They complain about EVERYTHING. No matter what we tried to praise, there were ten reasons why it wasn't good enough. The botanical gardens were too hot and too big. Chinatown was no longer authentic. The subway was 30 seconds late. Cars are too expensive. Traffic is still bad. Most of all, and most ironically, that “Singapore has no real culture or identity”.
The more I heard this, the more my excitement began to turn. By the third day I was telling Diana that I didn't much like Singapore and that I was ready to leave. As we discussed my changing emotions, I realized that what so repelled me was the cultural embodiment of some of my own most fearsome psychological demons.
At some point or another, I think most of us struggle with a sense of isolation, identity, and the pressure of social norms. We want to be interesting, to be different, to be liked, but in trying to fit some predefined mold this can be self defeating. Trying to please others becomes a judgment on ourselves, why we aren't interesting enough or different enough. Shame results in self deprecation or repression. So much so that you might hear yourself saying, “I don't have a strong identity.” But how terrible to think that, and how absolutely false!
The irony is that identity is unavoidable. You become what you express, whether you can overcome the shame and express your true self or you get stuck in repression and only let out that bland negativity. The everlasting hopeful part though, even for those stuck in the latter state, is how much richness there is just below the surface, waiting to be embraced. If Singaporeans could only begin to see what they already have, the country would suddenly obtain that rich culture they so desperately seek.
In the meantime, Singapore remains that depressing high school hangout with the moping kids with wealthy parents and a good home. All of whom are actually quite good looking, interesting, and fun before they start talking about how they aren't…
Lee & Diana
The author blogs at http://www.abendinthearrow.com