Roy Ngerng: I am Honestly Shocked with the Reactions Against Amos Yee

I am honestly shocked by the amount of violence some Singaporeans have afflicted onto Amos Yee.

Sure, he used some less-than-socially-acceptable language that upset some people to varying degrees, but let's stop being hypocritical and pretend that we don't use such language as well. For one, one PAP activist who watched the video made by Amos said that he wanted to chop off the boy's penis and stuff it into his mouth.

But this is not about whether it's the PAP or the opposition, or the fence-sitters, middle-ground, whatever it may be.

This is about what we as Singaporeans believe in and how we treat other people, but not even as Singaporeans, but as people, as a human being.

What makes us believe that we are on higher ground than Amos when at the slightest, we decide to call the police to arrest someone who is still only 16?

Before anyone even called the police, did we even think to ourselves why the boy did what he did? Or did we ride on our high horses and decide that he should be shot for what he did?

What kind of society have we become when the very first thing that comes to our mind is that violence should be paid with violence?

I don't know how many of us still remember being 16. I am 34 this year but I still remember that at 16, I was still growing up, still learning as a person, still trying to figure out life, love, and most importantly, struggling with my low self-esteem issues.

I was called names, mocked, laughed at, booed off stage when I went on stage to receive an award. It took me years before I learnt to love myself once more and understood what it meant to forgive and to love in return. But even at 34, I am still learning and am at times, angry and still learning to reconcile. Just last week, I had to do that with the death of Lee Kuan Yew.

We all learn, whether we are 16, 34 or 61. And the least we should do is to understand that if we have to go through such learning at each and every way, and at every step then the least we could do is to respect that someone else has to go through that same journey as well.

And to help the person along in his or her journey. That is what humans do. That is what people do.

That said, I do not know Amos and he might just be a perfectly bright person who sees it his right to express himself in a manner that Singaporeans cannot gel with and I might be the one with self-esteem issues and being over-apologetic.

What kind of person does it make us, to be self-righteous and decide that if we are hurt, we should hurt someone in return?

Let's face it, if you are a PAP supporter, it's much easier to live in Singapore. It feels like everything is at your disposal and if you support the opposition, the opposite happens. And when a boy comes out and critically appraise Lee Kuan Yew, it's of course easy for those on the other side to jump and ask for him to be torn apart.

But how different are our actions, as compared to the those who carry pitchforks in the Middle Ages rearing to burn a witch at the stake?

What perhaps shock me is that with the level of education our society so propound that at the very instance of unhappiness, we call the police instead of use of critical senses to debate it out with Amos.

Surely, if he said something that someone else doesn't like, we could try to understand his perspective and debate like the mature people we claim to be?

I don't know if we can see this but our actions have only shown how we have degenerated as a people. Perhaps it is the bad example that has been shown by the government that if I am not happy with you, I will use the law against you that has caused our people to learn from such bad behaviour as well.

For a nation that prides itself on a good education system, our very willingness to run away from a debate cannot be more of a mockery to the very education system we want to enshrine. I hope Singaporeans can see the hypocrisy in what we are doing.

Let's not pretend here. I am not unsupportive of what the boy is trying to do. But if it were a PAP supporter doing the same, would I be equally liberal-minded. The answer is yes. For the past three years since I started writing, I have faced numerous attacks on my blog and Facebook by supporters of the PAP. Fabrications About the PAP Facebook page have made so many snide remarks about me, and defamed my character through and through but have I called the police? In fact, at times, I have even smiled at their imagination and their ability to find even the most unexpected thing to mock me. Yes, I even enjoy it sometimes the humour they make of me. Ask my friends. I chuckle at the humour of Fabrications About the PAP, even if crass and against me. Nonetheless, funny is funny. And I am not going to pretend to be hurt.

But I am able to laugh at myself. I am able to laugh when someone laughs at me. Because I am comfortable enough in my own skin that I am not out to hurt someone back, just because my own skin is torn. No, I am not waiting to hurt someone just because I cannot accept myself.

I do not know Amos and I do not know why he did what he did. Did he go overboard? Maybe. I do not know him or his motivations. Did he make some good points, or some bad points? Maybe. Am I going to judge him? Perhaps as much as I will judge the Fabrications About the PAP.

Point is, here is a 16-year-old man who said something that some people disagree with but some people praised. But who even bothered to speak to him to ask him why his thoughts were as such, if we disagree or agree with him? I didn't. But how many of us could not wait to judge him even know we know jack shit about him or why he said what he said.

Or were we only waiting to lash out at him, because we believe we know better and we have the right to let ourselves at him? If we think we have the right, then doesn't he similarly have the right?

I don't know if we understand what this means. There is a disease in our society. We are now being infected with a sense of self-righteousness and self-worth, bred by our belief that we are better than someone else, blinded so much by our beliefs that we can't see that of another, or that of someone else who think differently from us, and where in our eagerness to appease ourselves, we lash out at another person.

Just last week, we spoke of morals, of values, of niceties and of kindness, etc. And then when someone came by and said some things, all our values went out the window. He is wrong, he should not say that, his penis should be cut off.

Really, I don't know if we realise how hypocritical we are.

Why am I getting so worked up over this? First, I am in the middle of a law suit and am facing two criminal charges myself. Do I want someone else to go through the emotional trauma that I have to go through? No, I do not want to. Second, this man is 16. When I was 16, did I know everything that I was doing? No, I did not. Would it help if people actually reached out to me and spoke to me? Yes, it would. Again, having said that, he could be a perfectly well-adjusted person and he seems much brighter than I was at my age anyway. Third, does a 16-year-old even know how to deal with such a situation that Amos has gotten himself into now? No, he wouldn't obviously. Even as a 34-year-old, I am learning to do so on a constant basis. And if anyone wants to tell me now that he should have known better and should thus deal with it now, then we should all have known better when we got into a bad job or bought into a bad investment and should not complain thereafter. And again, if we cannot have the simple empathy for someone else, then it says more about us than it does another person.

No, this is not about the PAP or the opposition. I do not support the PAP, yes, but this is more than that.

I am just shocked, saddened and hurt that some Singaporeans would see no harm to enact violence onto someone else, a boy no less, and not see the hypocrisy and ignorance of our actions. Of course, should Amos have made the video in the first place? But who I am to judge? Should the PAP activists go around sticking flyers into the homes of the Aljunied residents in the first place?

Am I any wiser? No, I am not.

But how many of us are able to hold back on our emotions, to try to understand something from various perspectives, before we make a judgement? And if we took the time to look through from various angles, would we still judge someone or would have a better understanding of someone, and be more considerate instead?

I don't think we gave ourselves that chance.

If anything, it only shows the sad state that the Singaporean society has degenerated.