After my Meet-the-People session last week, I attended a wake at a nearby hall. The deceased was an elderly resident I had visited before. I spoke at length with his daughter, one of six children who are all married and living elsewhere. She shared the difficulties the children faced in caring for their elderly father and bedridden mother while also managing their own families and job commitments. While the cost of care was a concern, the larger difficulty was the lack of time and the question of how responsibilities should be divided between the children . These responsibilities included taking time off work to accompany their parents for their many medical appointments. She wondered aloud how families with fewer children would be able to cope when the six of them struggled.
It was clear to me that the children loved their father, and he had obviously done well in raising them. But her point was a worrying one, and one which I believe we are not thinking sufficiently about.
When discussing the implications of an aging population or the “Silver Tsunami”, our focus is often on infrastructure and economic challenges eg. how to increase healthcare capacity and keep medical costs down. And we are rightly taking steps to tackle these issues. We are building more hospitals, geriatric wards, step-down care centres and eldercare centres. The Pioneer Generation Package has also considerably lowered the cost of treatment and medication for our seniors.
Yet, there are also social challenges associated with an aging population. These issues are far harder to tackle because they are not about money. With more couples having fewer or even no children, who will take care of their social and emotional needs when they grow old? Worse, while our life expectancy is rising, not all of us will remain healthy in old age. Dementia, Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s will be more prevalent. Can a single child or even two children cope with taking care of one, two or including in-laws, four elderly parents with such ailments?
What are the solutions? The nice lady I spoke to half-jokingly said that the government needs to build more old folks’ homes. That is one solution – but many will agree that it should be a last resort. With smaller families, I believe the larger community has to step into the breach and play a more important role. The best solution is for us to develop a strong and supportive network of friends – people we can grow old together with, and who will look out for one another. Everyone needs a reason to get out of bed every morning, and a vital part of that is feeling useful and remaining connected to others in the community. True, it may be more difficult to make new friends, learn new skills or pick up new causes as one gets older. But that just means we have to plan more carefully and try harder.
I would be grateful for your views on this issue. Specifically, how we can build better networks and social support for Singaporeans?
Hri Kumar
*Article first appeared on https://www.facebook.com/notes/hri-kumar/the-real-silver-tsunami/8202464...