The amount of FACEPALM is too damn high (no, really)

My original next post was going to be the third installment of my hospital stay, but then Han Hui Hui (who I will refer to as HHH) and Roy Ngerng had to go march themselves and shout slogans right into another event, which was organised by the YMCA Singapore for intellectually disabled children. Not once, but three times.

I actually steeled myself to sit through as many of the videos as I could watch, including the video of the altercation between HHH and the NParks official, the one of the so-called ‘heckling‘ and the equally so-called ‘heckling with context‘, and the ones with the speakers and emcee going at full blast at each other, which I haven’t linked here, but you can probably find on your friend’s Facebook (note to self: the next time I have to speak publicly, I’m hiring a speech therapist so that I won’t end up sounding shrill. Also, reduce volume first)

So far, here’s what I gleaned from the internet:

1) YMCA has been holding the event for 7 years running. It seems like every year, they alternate between the Singapore Botanic Gardens, and random parks. Last year’s, 2011’s and 2008’s was at the Botanic Gardens, while 2012 was at SMU Green, 2010’s at West Coast Park, and I can’t find where 2009’s was.

2) YMCA claims to have applied for approval to hold their event on 27 September sometime in December 2013, and gotten approval in April this year. NParks and the Singapore Police Force have issued a joint statement stating to the contrary that approval was only given to YMCA on 9 September 2014. HHH applied for her event (the 4th edition of the #ReturnOurCPF protest to be held on 27 September) on 22 September, and got approval on the same date (see screenshot below–it is not out on either NParks’ or the SPF’s websites)

3) At some point, both organisers became aware of each other’s event. From her Facebook postings, it seems to have been on 25 September 2014.

Wow. That was awfully prescient…

This is where things get hairy:

HHH posts this:

And later updates that the YMCA organisers were ‘purposely changing their timings’ to clash with her event. I note here that previously she did not name the ‘grassroots organisation’ that was organising the event, and later she names it as the YMCA.

Then, YMCA responds:

In turn, HHH posts this up:

Edited because HHH went to put up Mr Ng’s handphone number in public, and I don’t feel like subjecting the poor guy to even more abuse than he must be getting right now.

And then she seems to backtrack a bit:

Which we all know ends up turning into a huge steaming pile of horseshit. For the rest of what happened, you can go watch those videos I linked, or check out HHH’s, Roy’s, and YMCA’s Facebook pages, or go read the news (but not a totally rubbish site, which likes to swipe articles).

Let me first clarify that I’m not a PR consultant. I’m an administrator. I work for a very huge organisation in Singapore best described as the place that your mother was aspiring for you to get into when you were barely done shitting your pants (quite literally). I’ve been doing this for about 4.5 years now. Prior to that, I was helping to organise events in that same organisation (which I still do–we hold seminars almost every week). So what I’m about to say is from that perspective.

Facepalm #1: Allowing a demonstration with political undertones to go on at the same time as a charity event

NParks really dropped the ball on this one. While it is completely possible for two events to be held on the same day at the same time, anyone with two brain cells to rub together should know that you don’t hold potentially incompatible events at the same venue. It’s a politically-charged rally being held next to a concert for intellectually-challenged kids. For comparison, it’s like allowing fucking Texas Bar-Be-Cookout to be held right next to a Jain conference on veganism. It’s THAT stupid. You know the #ReturnOurCPF event is going to be loud, and filled with angry people; a simple Youtube search for the past 3 editions of it should tell you that.

Even if the YMCA event had only received approval on 9 September, that shows that NParks would already be aware of this event. Upon receiving the application from HHH, NParks should have used some discretion to evaluate the second event’s compatibility with the first. Instead of approving the event outright, NParks could have emailed HHH to inform her that there is another event that is taking place on the same day, and would probably require this space, and therefore would she be amenable to sharing the space, while simultaneously making the offer of another free date, where no prior event has been scheduled. If HHH chose the latter, then there would be no problem. If HHH agreed to the former, then they may wish to cc in the applicant from YMCA to inform him/her that there will be two events in the same space, and then let them duke the details out together. Both sides would then be spared a nasty surprise 2 days before.

Facepalm #2: Hiring an emcee who is more concerned with looking smart than actually using his brain

Apparently, some of the people who were at the rally commented that the emcee of the YMCA event had started it by saying something on the lines of “okay lah, we love CPF!”, following which some of the YMCA crowd picked up the chant, and someone even yelled out “Go get a job first before asking for your CPF”.

I’m sure the emcee must have been well aware that Minister of State Teo Ser Luck was in the audience (or would be soon), and had incited the crowd in an attempt to drown out the vitriol being directed at one’s guest-of-honour.

It is effective.

That is, if you are an orientation group leader of a bunch of pimply 19 to 21 year olds whose brains are half-fried by the ‘A’ levels, or NS, and whose idea of appropriate behaviour in class is picking up a handphone call and having an extended conversation on it while the lecturer is at the front, speaking.

(I shit you not. It really happened in one of my first-year lectures. No, it wasn’t me.)

You have a crowd of pissed-off humans who are already there. You don’t do something like that just to score a few cheap (maybe political) points that won’t last. Is anyone going to report to Minister Teo, “oh, the emcee was on your party’s side”, and even if someone does, do you really think that he’s going to give much of a shit to remember to hire you in 2016?

As it stands, mister, no one even knows your name.

On hindsight, it’s probably better that they don’t, you might find yourself being CSI-ed by the almighty HWZ-EDMW-ers.

On top of that, you had a job to do, which was to emcee the YMCA event, and you should have known that your charges may be frightened by further loud noises. Yes, you have to make the crowd enthusiastic, and you have to engage the audience. Getting your event attendees to try and shout down a group that has every incentive to make themselves heard over you is not the smart thing to do.

Facepalm #3: Imagining things that probably aren’t there

If you go to HHH’s Facebook page, you will find a lot of assumptions about people’s motivations. Ditto for her recorded altercation with the NParks official and the plainclothes policemen. Why was a PAP minister invited and not a WP MP as the guest-of-honour? Why the claim that YMCA is non-partisan? Why post up on Facebook? Who are you and how do I know who you are who you say? Why are the plainclothes policemen not flashing their badges? Is it because they are not really policemen? Why is NParks not letting us use the space? Why YMCA never come and directly confront me?

Her followers have picked up the refrain, too. Why did NParks approve the #ReturnOurCPF event knowing that the YMCA is holding theirs on the same day? Why Teo Ser Luck take we-fie and not concentrate on the concert in the background? Why is the PAP using the children as human shields? Why they have to choose Hong Lim Park, must have been someone incited them to choose it.

It’s like there’s this huge persecution complex going on in there. I can almost see the Roman circuses.

Seriously, people.

First off, regarding the invitation. Yes, they could have invited a WP MP for their event. There’s nothing really stopping them from doing so. Personally though, I would find it more appropriate to invite a WP MP to a community event that is located in their constituencies. Also, I would probably invite someone who has had previous links with this event in the past, and who also has a link that doesn’t make it really awkward for the guest-of-honour to attend. For example, when I did a book launch for a couple of books on the Indian diaspora back in 2009, we looked for an Indian guest-of-honour because, you know, it was on India. We invited one of the Senior Ministers of State, and he graciously agreed. Would it have made sense to ask Low Thia Kiang? I could, but I think he would be going WTF am I doing here for most of the event, and he’d sound a bit weird talking about the importance of our historical and social links to India #justsaying

Teo Ser Luck is Catholic, which to most of us Christians, is like another denomination of Christianity (because burning each other at the stake is so 1600s), and he has graced this event before. You can ask a WP MP, but he or she might decline based on availability, or just out of a sense that someone else might be more appropriate.

As for the plainclothes policemen, according to this note by the SPF, HHH is completely justified in asking for their identification. She’s not wrong there. Where she is wrong, though, is in her follow-up action. By right, upon the fact that they did not produce their warrant card, she should have called 999 to request for assistance. That should have cleared up the matter immediately. Furthermore, she has video evidence–those guys have no incentive to hang around and pretend that they are police officers if they aren’t, because a quick investigation can easily prove their legitimacy (or lack of), and impersonating a police officer is a criminal offence.

Holding their event at Hong Lim Park is also well within the YMCA’s rights. As I earlier noted, it seems that they try to rotate venues every year, returning to Botanic Gardens every other year. As for accusations that they are working hand-in-hand with the PAP, a quick overview of the timeline should put that to rest. Even if approval was finally given on 9 September, that was almost 2 weeks before HHH had planned her event. Unless someone has a TARDIS hidden somewhere, collusion is highly unlikely.

Regarding the threatened cancellation of her permit, she can count herself very lucky that her event didn’t get cancelled, because she was clearly breaching the first of the listed T&C, where

‘1 All events and activities carried out by any approved person at Speakers’ Corner, Hong Lim Park, are subject to the terms and conditions stated below and such other terms and conditions as the Commissioner of Parks and Recreation (‘the Commissioner’) may from time to time impose. The Commissioner reserves the right to cancel any approval or disallow any event or activity at any time without prior notice in the event of any breach of or non-compliance with the terms and conditions herein, where in the Commissioner’s opinion the event or activity may endanger or cause discomfort or inconvenience to other park users and/or the general public, or where the status of the Speakers’ Corner as an unrestricted area for public speaking and demonstrations under the Public Order (Unrestricted Area) Order 2013 and the conduct of public entertainment activities under the Public Entertainments and Meetings (Speakers’ Corner) (Exemption Order 2013 are revoked.’

Yes, only the Commissioner would be able to cancel the event. That doesn’t mean that the NParks official has no right to inform her that her event will be cancelled, because he can still report back to the Commissioner.

All I can say is, #ReturnOurCPF can thank god for a 5-day work week. The fella probably has a strict no-work-on-weekends policy.

I’m not even going to address the bits about why YMCA posted up the clarification on their Facebook, because that in itself requires this:

Look, if you posted up a Facebook note accusing someone of purposefully disrupting your event and being a PAP running dog, you should expect them to rebut using the same medium, no? I guess not.

Look, I’m just saying from personal observation that you can basically expect things to be done by the book, and it will still get screwed up; no, scratch that, precisely because it is all done by the book, it all gets screwed up. It’s Singapore. Dysfunctional is this country’s middle name (our surname is Lee. Just kidding). Sorry to disappoint, but there probably isn’t an evil mastermind hiding somewhere behind the YMCA event going, “MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA“

no.

If you want, blame NParks for not having the foresight for stuffing these two together. But ascribing a political motive based on circumstantial evidence stinks of a whole bunch of cray-cray. Having had the misfortunepleasure of working with bureaucracy, I rather imagine that some bozo saw a notification pop up in his/her email, clicked on the link leading to their intranet booking system, saw an available slot, and just mindlessly clickedApprove this request.

Facepalm #4: When all else fails, be a douchebag

The thing is, all of the blunders could have happened, and still, nothing would have happened.

That is, if the #ReturnOurCPF group had chosen to take the moral high ground.

Yes, Hui Hui and Roy, you all were in the right to have your event on the same day. You have every right to ask for the credentials of the people who had approached you. There is no law to state that you cannot use the empty spaces around the other event. There is no law to state that you cannot march around shouting slogans. So you are well within your legal rights.

But as a well-turned phrase has put it,

What is legal may not be ethical, and what is ethical may not necessarily be legal.