The Real Problem with Pornography: Not quite about "unrealism" per se

According to the Straits Times report, "Half of teens here exposed to pornography: Survey" (6 September 2014), a recent survey conducted by Touch Cyber Wellness found that one in two teenagers in Singapore has watched or read sexually explicit materials, with some as young as seven when they were first exposed to it.  

In response, Sumedha Jalote, Communications Executive of the Association of Women for Action and Research (AWARE) wrote in "Better sex education helps the youth make safer decisions" (22 September 2014):

THE recent survey examining young people's exposure to pornography highlights the importance of talking to them frankly and openly about sex ("Half of teens here exposed to pornography: Survey"; Sept 6). 

Most pornography seldom reflects reality. Professional performers in popular pornography often engage in physical acts that are uncommon in reality, in part because they are often uncomfortable rather than enjoyable. Their bodies do not reflect the ordinary range of shapes and sizes.  

Moreover, the interactions of performers tend to be modelled upon sexist and unrealistic sexual fantasies. Human relationships and practical considerations such as consent, sexually transmitted infection prevention and contraception are seldom addressed in freely accessible, popular pornography.  

Young people who do not have access to other sources of information about sexuality may consume this material uncritically, treating it as sex education.   

This may encourage them to become dissatisfied with their bodies and to develop unrealistic expectations of sexual encounters. They may feel pressure to participate in types of sexual activity that they do not want. They may also absorb problematic ideas about consent, as popular pornography rarely depicts women as human beings with their own sexuality, boundaries and rights. 

It is therefore vital that young people receive accurate, empowering sex education in schools, as well as safe, open environments at home to discuss sexuality. This will help them to better understand what to expect from sex and how to make safe, informed decisions. 

Sexual feelings are a normal part of life. Teachers and parents must be careful not to shame young people for the mere fact of having sexual desires or engaging in sexual activity. If adults make young people feel guilty or ashamed, this will only discourage them from seeking further information and support. 

We also need more education and discussion about consent to prevent sexual violence and create a society in which everyone is empowered to safely navigate their sexuality. 

Ultimately, comprehensive sex education in schools and open discussions at home should cover pornography and sex without shaming young people, encouraging them to critically assess the images they see and recognise the many differences between pornography and reality.

Unfortunately, this response by AWARE misses the mark.

In AWARE's words, most pornography seldom reflects reality; in other words there is an implicit admission that there at least exist certain kinds of pornography that do "reflect reality", are "enjoyable", reflect the "ordinary range of shapes and sizes", and address "human relationships and practical considerations such as consent, sexually transmitted infection prevention and contraception". Suppose we take AWARE's argument for what it is worth, would such a kind of pornography be acceptable?

On AWARE's line of reasoning, it would appear so.

But the real problem with pornography does not quite lie in its "unrealism" per se. It is deeper than that.  

The Real Problem with Pornography

From ages past, sexual conduct has historically entailed both the procedural norm of consent and the substantive norm of marriage. Rape is wrong because it violates both the procedural and substantive norms; adultery is wrong because it violates the sanctity of marriage even though it is consensual.

The failure of AWARE to grasp the real problem with pornography probably lies in its wholesale embrace of the principles of the Sexual Revolution, thereby denying the substantive norm of sex – marriage – while keeping only the procedural norms of sex – consent. This may be seen in its constant emphasis on the principle of "consent" in the letter, and on helping young people "better understand what to expect from sex and how to make safe, informed decisions". (See "Procedural and Substantive Norms of Sex: AWARE doublethinks and attacks a straw man, again")

Once we adopt a holistic picture of sexuality, the real problem with pornography emerges. Robert P. George and Shaykh Hamza Yusuf write in "Pornography, Respect, and Responsibility: A Letter to the Hotel Industry":

Pornography is degrading, dehumanizing, and corrupting. It undermines self-respect and respect for others. It reduces persons—creatures bearing profound, inherent, and equal dignity—to the status of objects. It robs a central aspect of our humanity—our sexuality—of its dignity and beauty. It ensnares some in addiction. It deprives others of their sense of self-worth. It teaches our young people to settle for the cheap satisfactions of lust, rather than to do the hard, yet ultimately liberating and fulfilling, work of love.

In "Pornography, Public Morality, and Constitutional Rights", Robert P. George further explains that the public interest in a cultural structure in which sexual experience has dignity and beauty is "in a special way a matter of justice to children", adding:

Parents’ efforts to bring up their children as respecters of themselves and others will be helped or hindered—perhaps profoundly—by the cultural structure in which children are reared. Whether children themselves ever get a glimpse of pornographic images in childhood is a side issue. A decent social milieu cannot be established or maintained simply by shielding children from such images. It is the attitudes, habits, dispositions, imagination, ideology, values, and choices shaped by a culture in which pornography flourishes that will, in the end, deprive many children of what can without logical or moral strain be characterized as their right to a healthy sexuality. In a society in which sex is de-personalized, and thus degraded, even conscientious parents will have enormous difficulty transmitting to their children the capacity to view themselves and others as persons, rather than as objects of sexual desire and satisfaction.

Not Quite about "Unrealism" per se

Part of finding the right solution lies in identifying the problem correctly. With its reliance solely on "consent" and "unrealism", it is no surprise that AWARE's proposed solution is that of comprehensive sex education in schools and open discussions at home which "cover pornography and sex without shaming young people" and encourage them to "critically assess the images they see and recognise the many differences between pornography and reality."

Commenting on AWARE's proposed solution, Facebook group Singaporeans United for Family wrote:

We disagree with AWARE's proposed solution. The exposure of children and young people to pornography is not addressed by teaching them to "critically assess" pornographic images, but by protecting them from exposure in the first place.

I agree.

As for young people who view or have viewed pornography, the appropriate response is then to emphasise the importance of respect for people as people, rather than as objects of sexual desire. Guilt and shame would quite inevitably follow for anyone with a working conscience, without the need to actively induce it.