A Singaporean Family messed up by Father, Government & PRC women (Part 1)

Recently, there was a video of a Singaporean woman confronting her husband’s China mistress that went viral. Then, there was a news report of a PRC study mama who confessed to having affairs with two married men in Singapore. Following that, another news of a China man living in an old Singaporean woman’s bungalow who was alleged to have taken plenty of money from her. As if there was not enough negative news of social problems related to foreigners living in Singapore, one idiot even wrote to ST Forum appealing for government to encourage elderly Singaporeans without a spouse to fall in love again and change its policies to make it easy for foreign spouses to obtain long-term passes and permanent residency.

The above prompted me to write the story of Maureen’s family. Of course, “Maureen” is not the real name but the story is true – because Maureen is one of my close friends. It is a real-life story of a caring mother who made sacrifices for her six children, an irresponsible father who broke up the family and a Singaporean daughter trying to bring peace to her family members – and just as she thought she had succeeded, the government’s open-door policy provided fertile soil and conditions for the seeds of hatred to be sown and germinated; the family was turned upside down!

What happened to Maureen could also happen to any other Singaporean family.

Maureen and her family

Despite being much older than me, Maureen is one of my best friends. We meet frequently and know each other’s family members relatively well.

Maureen was born in a poor family which subsequently ended up in a mess. Her father was a wife-batterer with a violent temper. He seemed to have difficulties staying on a job for long; finally at a relatively young age, he decided not to work. So his wife, Maureen’s mother, went to work.

Being the number one among the siblings, Maureen took up various part-time jobs to finance her studies and made some financial contributions towards the family. Her part-time jobs started since her primary school days – hence, she used to be an illegal worker and her boss taught her what to say should government officials come to inspect the shop.

The family lived in a HDB 3-room flat, registered in the name of her father and mother. As the father was not working, the mother’s CPF money was used to finance the flat. Despite being the main bread-winner, Maureen’s mother continued to suffer frequent beatings and abuses. When the children had grown up, their mother finally decided to leave the home after a severe beating by her husband. She demanded a divorce, but the husband refused to sign any document.

A divorce nisi was finally granted. The mother did not ask for a claim on the matrimonial flat so that her children could continue living there – with their ‘mad’ father. Their mother often claimed that her husband had certain psychological problems but Maureen and her siblings believed it was just foul temper and self-centred behaviour.

In order that Maureen’s mother could rent a subsidised flat from HDB, a series of transactions had to take place to comply with CPF and HDB regulations. After begging their father for years, cooperation was finally given. Maureen emptied her bank account to come up with all the cash to execute the transactions. Effectively, the father then became the sole owner of the 3-room flat while Maureen ended up as the one who paid 100% of the purchase cost of that flat (in cash).

Out of her five siblings, only Maureen’s youngest brother was finally left living with their father. The rest of the four siblings, over the years, left their father after some bitter quarrels with him. Maureen had her father’s verbal agreement that her youngest brother would inherit the flat in future.

Maureen seemed to be doing well in her career and got married to her school-mate. She was much luckier than her mother. There is one thing great about being married to a man who loves you and earns good money: what you earn is your money and what he earns is also your money!

Blessed with such a financial situation, Maureen was able to finance all the living expenses of her father and mother – sometimes, even her siblings’. She thought peace had finally arrived for her, her parents and siblings. Though not a perfect situation with both parents and siblings living apart, at least there was peace. At least everyone was moving ahead in life.

Enter the PAP’s greed

Goh Chok Tong, the then Prime Minister of Singapore, had implemented his open-door economic strategy. He must have believed that leaving the nation’s door wide-open with overly generous incentives to lure foreigners to Singapore could whip up strong annual economic growth – at least he would have a series of impressive numbers to read to Singaporeans!

However, it is often said that when the doors and windows are opened, flies and all sorts of harmful insects come into the house. Any competent sociologist would warn, a society that brings in a huge influx of immigrants over a relatively short period of time would experience high social problems and incur large social costs; this is especially true for a tiny island like Singapore where the new immigrants come from widely different cultures with entirely different social mores.