Related: Be the pillar of support for your boyfriend serving NS
To all NS men;
This is my story.
Like we all know, it is not an unusual occurrence when a girl leaves their boyfriend soon after they enlist into the army and there you go insulting them.
What about those girls who were dumped instead? It’s time we speak up for them too.
Yeah, we would all want our girlfriends to know what we are going through in the army and seek their understanding.
The minute you enlist, things you guys used to do together got lesser, the time you met, the cuddles, the hugs, the dates, it all got lessen.
Do you think it was easy for her? Was it easy for you?
There she was, encouraging you, cheering you up as you go through the “shittest” period of your life,
But have you ever wondered, when was the last time you cared for her?
The last time you asked her how she was doing?
Has it come to your realization that how self centred some of us as NS men have become?
Just because you think you’re in a situation worst than your girlfriend, you only wish they understood you.
Slowly everything became “ME, ME and ME”
All you wished to do was get home and play your computer games during the weekends when you book out, instead of roaming the damn streets of town with her.
You gave up on her because you were too overwhelmed by what army has done to you, you dumped her just so that you have one less burden on your shoulders, you don’t have to care anymore.
Asking her to find someone better,
She would have been gone earlier if she found someone better and did not want to be with you anymore.
But she was ready and prepared to go through this torturous period of your life,
Yet you tore down her hopes and determination.
Well, have you take the chance to understand how she was feeling the minute you enlisted?
She would have started worrying about how life in there would be like,
After all, there were many accidents that NS men were involved in,
She waits each day for your call and text to make sure things are alright on your side,
Never fails to encourage you and tries cheer you up,
Have she not done anything?
Hoping you’ll be able to pull through the whole week,
Waiting for you outside your camps on book out days to fetch you,
Give you a big comforting hug,
Bringing you for a good meal when you’re out.
She does so much, but yet you found her annoying,
you felt that she didn’t give you the space and time you wanted alone.
You ignored her texts when she asked how was your day because you did not have the mood to reply her because you’re exhausted.
All they did was love and care..
Yeah, many a times we see them ranting on the Internet,
They kept things to themselves, because they did not want you to worry.
They did not want to tell you how bad their day was,
While sometimes, they can get ridiculous over trivial matters.
(They go through monthly pain, you’ve gotta understand! PMS)
Did you try to understand why they did a certain thing?
Do you remember the time during your field camp?
The letters your family or girlfriend may have wrote for you?
The words? How did it impact you during the field camp?
Those 5 days that she didn’t get to know how you are doing,
She did not get her usual calls or text from you,
Praying and hoping that all is well for you,
That you would be strong to pull through it.
Do you remember?
You’re exhausted, mentally, emotionally and physically.
She was emotionally and mentally drained too, have you realized?
The constant worry she has,
The separation from you,
She was suffering along with you,
You weren’t alone in this.
She was there for a reason,
She has been there for you through your milestones in life,
And you wouldn’t want to be absent as she meets her milestones in life.
She cares for you, she loves you and she’s willing to go through this with you.
But yet you did not give her a chance to,
You neglected her feelings,
You became so selfish that you blamed her for your suffering.
And yes, I was once there,
As I served my NS with my girlfriend of 2 years at that point in time,
Although I did not dump her,
I realized I neglected her feelings because she slipped away eventually.
She cared for me but yet I took it for granted,
She tried to make me happy by bringing me out on dates but I did not appreciate them.
She bought gifts for me which I questioned.
I did not care about her feelings, I did not take the initiative to understand what she was going through.
It did not come to me that she was suffering together with me.
And that’s the main point, you should never be too busy caring about yourself and your own feelings and neglect hers.
As for those who “gave up” on their girlfriends,
Get her back, she’s willing to go through this with you,
And she is probably still waiting for you,
But this time, come back stronger
Help each other to understand one another better,
She loves you and she cares for you.
Appreciate what they do for you, don't let your mind control your actions.
Please guys, do not leave them when they’re determined to give you their all.
They did not give up even though they were suffering silently, so why should you?
Take the pride and selfish mindset off from you,
Learn to understand her even more.
She did not give up, you shouldn’t too.
Cheers =)
Friend of Alpha Tango
TRS Contributor