For someone who can probably write about anything and everything, I have not written for close to a month. I was not having a writer’s block of sorts. Neither was I devoid of ideas. So, you may ask, why this hiatus. The truth was that I was afraid. I was afraid of acknowledging my own flaws and writing about my dirty little secret. I was worried about my reputation.
As I tried to forget that incident and move on, I attempted to write about other issues. The guilt started to eat me from inside. To make it worse, random videos that I watched online kept reminding me about it. First it was the urban street team who went out of their way to do something extremely sweet.
Faith in Humanity Restored. Internal Guilt multiplied.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbkduE_FYq4)
I told myself that my reputation is merely what others think of me and my character is who I really am. I had a character flaw which I had acknowledged. I have decided to face it and change myself. While I do not expect this article to revolutionalise the society and have an instant impact, I am hopeful that at least one of you will make an attempt to change.
The incident that inspired this change stemmed from a lonely walk from the bus-stop to my house. There were group of Foreign workers who were trimming the grass nearby. As I walked along the pathway, a small stone hit me on my face due to the grass trimming. What followed was a completely instinctive reaction. I yelled at him the four letter expletive and flashed him my middle finger. When he realised what had happened, he immediately apologised sincerely. Then, the magnitude of my reaction hit me. I lowered my tone and told him to be more mindful of the surroundings before he trims the grass . I walked on.
I could not digest my reaction. I had never reacted in such a disgraceful manner before. As I dissected the incident, I refused to accept the cold hard truth. My reaction had ultimately stemmed from an innate sense of authority I felt I had over him. At that moment, I was the ugly xenophobic Singaporean, that I hated so much. I had become my worse enemy. It hit me harder as I had always been championing for equal treatment between foreign workers and Singaporeans and yet, had I been a closet hypocrite all along? I could not accept it.
I have made friends with many foreign workers that I have met during the course of my life. From the guy who cleans my block to the 7-11 cashier in Clarke Quay, to the waiter at Shah Alam , to the group of guys who are building the new HDB Blocks in my area. I have shared meals with them and had even had had a few beers with them. They were my friends. I did treat them like equals. At the same time, I cannot help but remember my hand clutching my then girlfriend’s hand a bit more tightly when we were in an area with foreign workers. I cannot help but remember not boarding a bus just because it was full of foreign workers.
A recent video of celebrity from India who was invited to be a special guest at one of the nightspots got me thinking. This was not a new thought. It is definitely something most of us are already aware of. We just need to confront it.
Most of us are fans of Rajnikanth and Ajith Kumar. Some of us even idolise them. If you did not know, these two stars started out as a bus conductor and an auto mechanic. I am sure there are many former bus conductors and mechanics from India who live amongst us in Singapore. Why is that that we can treat some Indian nationals as superstars and the rest as a lower class of people. Does being part of Media elevate your worth as a human?
Most of us would have heard this question: If your mother and your wife fell off the boat and neither could swim and you could only choose one, who would you choose?
Now, that is tough question to most. But if you replace the 2 with Sakthivel kumaravelu1 and Madhavan2, the choice does become a lot easier. Why would any Singapore Indian girl scream in delight on having the opportunity to date Surya and yet squirm with disgust the moment she realises that a foreign worker is looking at her. What is the difference between the 2?
What are we really discriminating? The fact that they have no social graces and they are perverts . Let us not forget that every community has its bad apples and I would even venture so far as to say that there is a perv in almost every guy, be it Singaporean or Indian. That is the cold hard truth. So really. what is the difference?
Back in the 90s, there were many Indian films which showed the reality of caste conflicts. I took great pleasure being in a society, where caste did not exist (to most of us, atleast). But in reality, have we not created our own caste system? We often complain about foreign workers being unhygienic and smelly. Trust me, if you earn $800 in Singapore, with a family in India to feed, coupled with supporting your life here, a deodorant would be the last thing on your mind. We complain of them not showering in the mornings. When you share a room with 20 other people with limited toilet facilities and turning up late for work would result in pay cut from what already is peanuts, the morning shower is something you can do without. While most of us are cooped up in Air-Conditioned offices, these chaps are out and performing manual labour. When I was involved in Sangae Muzhangu (a theatre production organised by students), some of us spent days and nights building props and if you had placed me in a construction yard with foreign workers, I would have fit right in.
Nobody will dare say that we are discriminating against poverty and a social class of living. But, is that not the truth?
Let me share with you about recent bus journey I had. I was reading a novel. The foreign worker sitting next to me was clearly looking over and reading it as well. I moved my book slightly to the left. I wondered to myself, when was the last time he read a book.
This man left his country to seek a better life for his family back home and has contributed way more than me to my own Country. The least I could do is treat him with respect. The next time you see a foreign worker, treat him as a fellow human being. Smile at him. Talk to him.
Thinesh Kurunathan
*The writer blogs at http://theguruproject.wordpress.com/