Dear The Real Singapore,
I have just finished my A Levels last year and I am waiting to enter the army in May.
The two years leading up to A Levels was extremely eventful and stressful. I guess you can say that I am not the exceptional student who scores eight or nine distinctions and on top of that, has numerous gold medals from different International Olympiads and still have time to engage in many CCAs, even being the President of the Student Council.
I am just a normal student with average grades who participates in a few CCAs and performs some leadership roles.
After the A Level results were released, I looked at what many of the different schools posted and I found that there are at least a thousand students who are just like me and many of them have already gotten conditional scholarship offers and overseas admissions.
I feel stupid, normal and useless. I have already done my best and have no regrets but I guess all of you can say that this is a case of 'even your best isn't enough'.
I look at the number of scholarships and university places our local universities offer and I balk at it. Five scholarship holders per scholarship? That translates to around 200 overseas scholarship holders and yet there are so many exceptional people here in Singapore giving their utmost to fight for those scholarships. This is extremely depressing.
Moreover, I find that everyone is trying to do something that's portfolio-worthy. As mentioned, A Levels was a stressful period for me and after that I just wanted to rest and enjoy myself with my friends.
Yet, many people continually ask me: 'Are you working now? Are you going for an internship? What are you doing with your life? Slacking away? Can you do something productive? Can you not laze around?'
Really? I hate it that people are doing things not because they like it but because they just want to get that scholarship or get into that course.
I am just a sad and depressed child and I hope the sky will be brighter tomorrow.
Depressed Kid