The Christmas season is a time for family gathering and reunion and many even fly up thousands of miles to be with their loved ones. No one wants to spend Christmas by himself unless its really impossible to catch up due to some unforeseen circumstances.
I happened to catch a woman in her mid thirties tearing up when I sat opposite her while taking the train to meet up with the others at our Christmas get-together yesterday. She was with her your daughter and kept using a tissue to dabble at the tears that flowed down her cheeks incessantly.
It was a difficult sight to witness and I tried to look away as I can't bear to see women cry.
Maybe she has lost someone I thought to myself or the person she wishes to see couldn't make it in time for Christmas. Christmas always has this special power to bring back those stored painful memories of the past. We thought that it's gone but somehow the festive season has this ability to renew them back vividly to the subconscious.
A quarter of the guests we invited for our Christmas eve gathering yesterday are divorcees and some have emailed me saying that it has been a difficult period for them to go through.
As someone who is also divorced, I can understand how they feel. There is no one in the world you like to be with during the festive season except for your loved ones. No one can substitute for their absence and Christmas is never the same again when they are not around.
I have celebrated Christmas with my family for the past 19 years before we ended the marriage and frankly now I dreaded the festive season. I rather buried my head in the ground than be seen with others who have their family members around them.
It has been a difficult time for me personally as I reminiscence about the good times we have together as a family during the festive season. Its not easy celebrating Christmas alone after the divorce. I just wish Christmas comes and goes as soon as possible.
Life returns to normalcy after the festivities are over.
During festive season, the divorcees really miss their family a lot and for those who are single they feel more lonely and question why aren't they attached. Self doubt creeps in and they wonder if something is really wrong with them.
When I organised the Christmas eve get-together I was abit doubtful that it would take off as people will have their own family gathering to attend.
However, to my surprise, about 37 people turned up and I realised about a quarter of them have broken families. Somehow we have indirectly provided them with a place to meet and gather or else they might be celebrating Christmas all by themselves alone at home.
I also realised how friends can be really important when you are single or divorced - the married couples tend to be in their own world until their marriages end.
That's when they go looking out for friends to ease their loneliness but friendship takes time to nurture and it will be wise for those who are married to open up a window for others to come into their life.
As Christmas ends soon in about three hours' time we are looking forward to new year eve - another difficult moment for those who have lost their family members or marriages.
Let's take time to cheer them up if you know of someone who fits the bill - they are really in need of good company and will thank you immensely from the bottom of their heart if you take time to be with them.
Gilbert Goh
*Article first appeared on https://www.facebook.com/goh.gilbert/posts/10152495426993975