It's been several days since Aware proudly announced their achievement in getting Mindef to ban a stanza of the song Purple Light, and the relentless comments on Facebook really beg for clarification.
Here's the deal: Singaporean men do NOT love rape or miss singing about rape. Had Aware not acted like a bull in a china store as they had, most men would in fact havesupported the expunging of the line themselves if asked. Those who have been simplifying this whole matter as one of men loving to sing about rape are really missing the point. There are several reasons why most guys are infuriated, and no, none of them is that they love singing of rape.
1. Sexual "equality".
That in the name of sexual equality and autonomy (rape being the loss of autonomy), Aware demanded the ban on an army song. While, of course, only men continue to be forced to serve 2 years of National Service (against their will).
This irony is accentuated by the fact that it is Aware - a feminist women's rights organisation - which broke the news that they were the ones who demanded this ban. In their rush and eagerness to claim credit for it (rather than letting Mindef announce it on their own), Aware's sheer lack of sensitivity has caused their proud brag to backfire on them so spectacularly.
The result is that amongst most men, the only thing they have ever heard Aware doing for sexual equality in NS is... ...to ban their song. Aware has created the prevailing sentiment that a group of women, coming from their privileged position of never having to serve a single minute of NS, has got the audacity to tell serving men what they can/cannot do. All the while conveniently ignoring the fact that NS itself is the biggest sexual inequality in the whole matter. It is this sheer sense of injustice and hypocrisy that is fuelling the discontent.
Of course, Aware's usual tired response is that they officially "support" female NS by having "spoken about reforms" before. However, this lip service to sexual equality counts for little when they have done close to nothing to bringing this "official support" to fruition, as compared to their impassioned and strong demands for righting wrongs such, well, a stanza in Purple Light.
2. Female voices on NS
The other fallacy being repeated is that men oppose any female discussion on NS at all because women have not served. That, however, conflates "comments" with "demands". Women are free, just like anyone else, to comment on NS as an institution, just as anyone is free to talk and comment about wars.
But when "comments" turn to demands, instructions, or dictations, a line may duly be drawn. Just as one is free to comment and discuss WWII, one would obviously be sensitive when telling Korean Comfort Women what they should forgive/protest/do/don't. Just as one may freely talk and debate about torture in Guantanamo Bay, one would clearly be slow to tell those who have actually been tortured there what to feel/do/not to do.
While NS may not be outright torture (lol), the forced deprivation of 2 years of one's prime youth based on gender and gender alone is a blatant injustice which most men keep silent about. Men do not object to hearing women talk or discuss about NS. However, when a group of women, loudly speaking ironically in the name of "sexual equality" dictate what men can/cannot do in NS, this dormant sentiment of injustice becomes greatly accentuated.
3. The real motivation behind singing about rape
Moreover, it is hypocritical and myopic that Aware, while claiming to be "troubled" that NSFs were singing about raping their cheating girlfriends, completely ignored the real motivation behind such a stanza (which, of course, is not a love for rape).
Clearly the fact that so many women cheat on or breakup with their enlisting boyfriends does not justify the abomination that is rape. However, it does make it at least understandable why NSFs harbour strong emotions that motivated such ugly lyrics. There is a real problem here that women are equally (if not more) guilty of that Aware is only willing to attack the mere symptom of. The fact that Aware is either unaware of this, or completely trivialises it (just as they accuse NSFs of trivialising rape) shows just how little effort and care they took in dealing with this matter.
At the end of the day, rape is never justified, and no one should promote or even trivialise rape culture. As I said, most men would actually favour removing that offending line if they were asked. But Aware, in its eagerness to eradicate rape culture, needs to be more tactful and sensitive rather than callous and clumsy. It must tread carefully especially when loudly addressing "sexual inequality" and "autonomy" in an area where women enjoy blatantly sexist and autonomous privileges which songs like Purple Light completely pale in comparison to. Only then will Aware (to use some warspeak) win the war instead of merely the battle.
Joel Goh
TRS Contributor